A different ME?

Lost in the web of thoughts at the bend,

whirling round, never nearing the end,

When i look at the abyss,

it looks back at me,

puzzled and perplexed, or

amused and confused

at the new "me".,

trembling with fear..

But why dear?

am i so complicated?

or is it that i look frustrated?

Crying my heart out..

Ripping my soul whole,

Am i fighting for some peace?

or is it just another dream?

here I am.. with those whirling thoughts

and the endless knots..

Screaming alone..

Loaaaaaaa... just a moan...!

And lo behold, i get up to see,

standing up in glee,

it's all but a dream..

under the orange gleam..

--------Idea taken from "BAAANI" :)

Miss you..!

No words to say, no thoughts to share...
No jokes to play, no reasons to hear..
No kisses to give, no tears to leave..
There's only one feeling...
I MISS U so much!

Bored of being Bored..!

This post is truly dedicated to all those yet candid and energetic souls, who are bored of being bored this summer...!!

Wonder what we could do sitting at home during the long vacation, with all your friends spread far and wide across the country, with these hour long power cuts, and scorching heat that threatens life out of you..!

Well it just needs a little brushing up for your brains, and there you begin with a list of things you could do, and the list would go on..

1) if you're one with loads of friends in your college or school, you can do this. Just take your mobile, and start by giving missed calls to each of your friends, and believe me, there'l surely be one "the one" who'l take it to call back or msg you.


2) If you're lucky enough to have a message offer, like most people do these days, you can very well have day long chats with your friends, and stay in touch and tuned to the updates in your friends circle.


3) if you're good at art, here's something for you. You can brush up your creativity and try some art at clay, or paper, but if not, no worry! You can search for some good pictures on the net, and here u go! Give work to your brushes and paint, and you'l find inventing a new "You" and a nice painting.


4) For those who are members of the 'I miss my childhood days' on orkut and other social networking sites, i'm sure you really miss it. Just take the pain of sitting down with a pen and a piece of paper and begin to pour out all your remembrances, those old sweet memories, which b ring upon u that sweet curve.

Write about all the myriad mischiefs one could do,or u did, try inventing yourself through your work!


5) If you're one of those lucky ones whose parents have been bothered enough to save sweet memories for you, be it precious photographs, or recorded tapes of your voice, and you at play, or you at school, you don't need more from me! Just sit down with the pile, and with every passing moment, every photograph and tape will take u into a world u've always cherished and time will just flow by!


6) If you're good at cooking, bother least about your hunger, but set down to make some nice dishes, (or atleast some chilled juice and milkshake, coz i agree it cud be very tiring to take down to sophisticated dishes for your meal!)
There's a list of some nice and healthy friutjuices and shakes that you can prepare for yourself in a jiffy, and surprise your folks at home!( Thanks to the writers of the recipes, i could collect and place them at a single spot) in my other post. Just look for it!



7) Well, this is certainly the best of the lot, expecially to all those movie buffs, to keep a track of everyday releases, and also the ratings of all the currently playing ones, and you can always choose one to go for with your friends or cousins..


8) Hmm well, here's a site that could be useful to all those who'd love to play some games on the net, not ones that'l take away hours at a stretch, but ones that can be done away with in minutes, and yet give some fun :)
http://www.mindjolt.com/games


9)and if you've a mail account, and someone special in your life, or some very special friends, i'm sure you'l stick on to this. Just look at all the old chats that have taken place, and i promise you, time will start running! Every line and every chat will take you back to old times, and you'l have a good laugh!


10) This is something I've mastered for quite sometime but have given up owing to lack of time even to breathe!
Just google the lyrics of the songs you love the most, and try learning them. If not, just play those songs and try singing parallely with the singer, looking into the lyrics. It can surely be fun! (I'd done this before, but courtesy: Sowmya's blog)


11)If you've got an account in orkut and all other social networking sites, fine then. But if not, then sign up for them, and you'l have a good time in the beginning, designing your profile with some nice names, and pictures.You'l even have the chance of looking up the conversations between some of your friends, make new ones and so on and so forth!


12) You'l have a hell lot of quizzes to take up in Facebook, and similarly many applications and games are available too! Just put yourself in untill you're fed up of 'em all!


13) For some very rare people like me, who love new names, and so on, you can always search on the net, for new names, and catch up with the,. Make new nicks for your friends using them, or you can even save them in a nice place, you never know your suggestion may be most valued some day when you've gotto name a baby! ;)


14) if you're still bored, you can just search on some of the most popular sites, for some nice pictures, and make a collection of your own.!


15) you can even create your own designs and logos, and brush up your creativity to max extent on applications like adobephotoshop and paint and bla bla..


16) If you aren't good and fast enough at typing, well, just take a typing cd, one for the kids, and use it.
It'l be fun playing games and trying to learn to type, once you do learn, i'm sure you'l spend most of the day sitting in front of the system trying to write some crap and look at your typing skills. :D


17) Just go through the millions and millions of blogs available on the net, something will surely look catchy to your eye!


18) If you've a bike or any other vehicle of your own, needless to say, you can always take a long ride, away from your folks and family.. Away from the rush of the city,untill your hands drive you back automatically to your home.


19) If you stay at a place near the beach, i tell you there's nothing better you can do, than sit at the shore,be it staring all the passers-by, or sitting with a pen and paper,posing like a great poet/(ess), you can even sit there just to feel the breeze and the scent of the sea waters.


20)Well, if none of these work out, you'l have to end up trying to tell people to do things you couldn't do yourself, like i'm doing right now! :P

PART 2 of " A TEAR OF FAILURE" :-

What was that shiny thing sliding down and down...
up and down past every freckle and frown....
like a snake on a desert so thin and sleek
aah!! but its a tear, trickling down my rosy cheek!!

what lay behind that tear

remains in my mind, to date, fresh and clear....
you were a figure so tall and bold,
and to you i was more than a pot of gold!!.
which , with utmost care and devotion, you tried to mould...
your hand so big and warm,
clutched my little finger with care and charm..

you showed me those far away hills,

i should reach them you said, and it still drills..
the path was long, it bore thorns and flowers..
you said it all thrills,
it was like climbing the tallest towers..
sheer joy in you, it fills.

we plopped into the endless fields,
and here you taught me to harvest the crop..
never once letting my hand drop
you showed me, when i cried, the beautifully colourful fair,
for you didn't want me to sit in solitaire..
you bought me those shining glass bangles,
just to see them reflect my priceless giggles...

you wanted me to walk my talk
and at others, i never wanted to mock...
you wanted me to give others a warm smile,
and i wanted to help them walk another mile...
you wanted me to give others all that's best
and i wanted to care not whats the rest...
you wanted me to wipe every dropping tear,

and i wanted to drive out their every monstrous fear...
you wanted me to play, for life is a game,
and i wanted to earn u great name and fame...
you wanted me to spread all round me, the purest of love,
and i wanted to love you, my treasure trove...

my little feet have trotted the path you've shown,
under your love and protection, I've grown...
a blossoming flower... away I got blown!!
should I cry at your loss?? or just moan?

I've walked half up the hill, always at your heel,
where do i stand now?? lost and lonely i feel!!
I'm still your dear little pup,
your lessons have filled just half my cup!!

To god I pray,

and thus begin my everyday..
hoping one day, safe u'll return.....
this desire of mine.........it'll always burn!!!

Very Strange..!!

It all seems so strange to me.. what kinda changes time can bring along... It was not more than a year back that i had made a promise to my friend that wht might come, i will not get into this ... i will never get deceived by the looks.. i knw wht can happen.. i'l never do it!!

I have promises to keep up; and goals to achieve; and better dreams to dream and fulfill here.. Infact, it was a promise that we made to each other.. and here i stand one year down the lane... I bear d guilt of having broken my promise and there she stands dancing away to glory merrily.. with her head high!! yup, she could so far keep up that promise she once made to her friend.. I just realise wht kinda changes time can bring upon you.. U never know whts destined fr u!!

As i stand here bearing the guilt of having broken down that promise.. You might wonder why i don't cry much over it.. it's cuz u c.. once you get into it.. u can't hold urself back!! u'l do things u never once loved doing and see things you never once imagined in d wildest of ur dreams u will... and u will feel every moment of ur life to be so pristine.. d way you never felt it before!! and u'l feel a happiness.. that knows no bounds!! u might have some very long nights.. with ur mind filled of thoughts.. but each thought will just bring u sheer joy and not let u feel deprived of ur sleep!!!
u'l realise it's an altogether different world!! with only one most conspicuous or more accurately,just one and "the only feeling" prevalent there!! and u'l get into it to such an extent, now i guess i cant even call it neck-deep.. it's deeper than that.. and then there's no place for other things.. other feelings.. for guilty or for repentance or anything else..

Does it all just seem like bits of trash and crap and shit?? Phew.. all ears u nerds and the dumb brained (scatterbrains, better-said!!) who knw not yet and are beginning to lose their senses.., it's no use me telling you.. u'l never knw wht it's all 'bout..

But hmm lemme c.. i think u need to knw, to avoid the presumably weird and large number of assumptions and conclusions u may make, it's just all 'bout a very strange world..one that has made it difficult for me to come back here.. :( :P

A Tear of Failure

what was that??
A shiny thing sliding down and down...
up and down past every freckle and frown....
like a snake on a desert so thin and sleek
aah!! but its a tear, trickling down my rosy cheek!!

what lay behind that tear
remains till date, in my mind, fresh and clear....
days and nights of sweat and toil ,
have slipped off like loose soil..
long and sleepless nights of enduring pain,
all in vain, just washed away in the drain..
my weary eyes held tales of struggle,
'afore's your destined triumph', signaled my bugle...
i worked and worked,never once looking back,
always keen not to lose track...
my eyes remained focused on the bull's eyes,
but alas, it was all just a feeble try!!
all my dreams and visions of triumph and victory,
shattered... it's still a mystery...


long gone into the past .. D treasure trove
of happiness i once sought!
what remains ahead seems to be a fruitless grove!!
the fruit of the battle i fought!!
and now, all round me sorrows galore...
i sit behind the tightly shut door..

i had walked a long mile,
and have forgotten even to smile..
but it's time to recapitulate that old sweet dream..
it assures , "like the sun, you too will gleam" !!
yes, all has tumbled down to the core
leaving behind a wound so sore...
none can assure that the best is still afore...
but, i'll combat stronger than before!!


here i sow, all my effort again!, just a seed!!
it'll soon grow into a tree, and i am bound to succeed!! ;)